whatcanieat:

chronic-confessions:

I have a chronic illness that will probably never get much better, and, even if it improves for a little while, it will never go away. But still, everyone keeps asking me if I’m doing better, only to get upset when I tell them the truth. They respond with the whole “you’re not thinking positive enough, you’re never gonna get better until you believe you will” and the dreaded “don’t feel sorry for yourself, other people have it much worse.” We all know how hurtful and frustrating these responses are. I get so upset when everyone invalidates my suffering like that or acts like I’m responsible for my own problems because I don’t have enough faith. I’d fight them and fight them trying to make them respect my feelings about my illness and to make them accept the fact that this is my life and just come to terms with it like I have. But you know how tedious and unsuccessful this struggle is.

Then today I noticed something I’m not proud of. That now, when people ask how my health is doing, my automatic answer is a heartless “Oh I’m okay. I’m still having problems, but I’m sure it’s gonna get better soon!” I don’t know when it happened, but at some point I just started telling them what they wanted to hear because that was easier. At some point, through all the pain and exhaustion and hopelessness, I gave up and didn’t even realize it.

Don’t give up! Your pain is valid and people need to respect that and not judge you for it.

whatcanieat:

Firstly, sorry for the negative ranting last night. It was something that has been bugging me for a while and I just needed to get it off my chest

Secondly, I didn’t get much sleep last night so I’m still feeling pretty lousy. My cough has returned with a vengeance, so it’s stopping me from sleeping now. I’m still wanting to go out today but I might not do as much as I originally planned. Still, you never know; after some tea, I might feel a bit more lively. The weather is looking dry at least, and my stomach isn’t feeling as bad as it was last night. I’m going to try and eat some gluten-free cereal with almond milk for breakfast and hope it doesn’t hurt. Besides, it’s almost time for my afternoon meds.

whatcanieat:

Today couldn’t have ended sooner. I’m so exhausted from working today, all I wanted to do when I go home was sleep but I have stayed up because I really needed to eat something. I’ve been terrible this evening and had Chinese take away (plain noodles with sweet and sour chicken). Already feeling the bloat so I’ve left half the noodles, but it’s filled me up and given me a little more energy to stay up a bit later.

The cold appears to be getting slightly better; the cough is less frequent and I can breathe a bit easier. My eyes have really benefited from a day off from contact lenses so I’m keeping them out until the morning. My head isn’t hurting anymore and my throat is a bit better. I haven’t had a Lemsip yet but I’ll do that before bed along with some cough syrup.

The plan tomorrow is to get some more beads (I couldn’t find any in my local craft shop the other day), do a little autumn clothes shopping ready for my trip to Lincoln in October, and then a relaxing afternoon of making Halloween/Autumn bracelets and charms. I’m feeling quite creative recently, which is great because I haven’t done anything creative (drawn, painted, written) in literally years. I find it quite relaxing; it’s a good distraction from my current situation and, if I feel they are any good, I may even put a few up on Etsy. I’ll update about that as and when it happens.

Anyway, sorry for the long post. Have a good night everyone.

whatcanieat:

Still feel pretty lousy. The cough is persistent, the throat is soar and the sinuses hurt too. I’ve taken more Lemsip and cough syrup with lunch but it’s not doing much. I might get some tea later; I’ve been having double shots of caramel syrup with my tea, instead of sugar, which seems to make me feel a little better, if only for a short time. I just want today to finish so I can go home to bed. I need sleep more than anything but it’s hard when you work full time and are up early every morning. Only five more hours to go. Let’s hope they go fast.