Confession #1,553



I have a chronic illness that will probably never get much better, and, even if it improves for a little while, it will never go away. But still, everyone keeps asking me if I’m doing better, only to get upset when I tell them the truth. They respond with the whole “you’re not thinking positive enough, you’re never gonna get better until you believe you will” and the dreaded “don’t feel sorry for yourself, other people have it much worse.” We all know how hurtful and frustrating these responses are. I get so upset when everyone invalidates my suffering like that or acts like I’m responsible for my own problems because I don’t have enough faith. I’d fight them and fight them trying to make them respect my feelings about my illness and to make them accept the fact that this is my life and just come to terms with it like I have. But you know how tedious and unsuccessful this struggle is.

Then today I noticed something I’m not proud of. That now, when people ask how my health is doing, my automatic answer is a heartless “Oh I’m okay. I’m still having problems, but I’m sure it’s gonna get better soon!” I don’t know when it happened, but at some point I just started telling them what they wanted to hear because that was easier. At some point, through all the pain and exhaustion and hopelessness, I gave up and didn’t even realize it.

Don’t give up! Your pain is valid and people need to respect that and not judge you for it.

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