D is also for… Depression

I want to talk a little bit about depression, because I don’t feel it’s talked about enough.

Depression can affect anyone at any time. It can manifest in many different ways and can be accompanied by other conditions such as anxiety.

For me, depression and anxiety come hand-in-hand. They manifest at random times, usually as extreme overthinking. It can also cause me to be critical of others and myself, make me worry I am a burden on others and that I’m letting everyone down (even when I have no logical reason to think so), and make it really hard for me to socialise regularly.

I recently started on anti-depressants after speaking with my therapist and my GP. So far, I’ve found my outlook on life has been better, my relationships seem to be stronger, and I feel like I’m actually worthy of spending time with. (I still struggle with prolonged social interactions but that’s another thing altogether).
Of course, not everyone is comfortable being on medication, especially for their mental health, but that’s ok. It took me a while to feel ok about taking anti-depressants, but now I feel a lot better, and even my partner can see the difference. Obviously, I’m not saying that everyone will be ok with taking them, but I wanted to share my experience with them in case anyone was on the fence about taking them. If you choose to not take medication, that’s ok, it’s your choice, your body. You know what’s best for you more than anyone so please don’t feel pressured to start meditation if you’re not comfortable doing so.

It’s important to talk about mental health as much as we do physical health. We need to be more open with ourselves as well as with each other in order to destigmatise mental illness.

Remember: just because you can’t see it, it doesn’t mean it’s not there. Someone may look perfectly healthy, but it’s impossible to know what’s going on underneath their smile.
Everyone is fighting a battle you can’t see, so be kind.

And if you are struggling right now, please reach out to your support network. There are people you can talk to who will not judge you or try to tell you what to do. They can point you in the direction of a professional, if that’s what you need, or just be an ear to listen. Please don’t suffer in silence.

———-

Helplines:
Samaritans (UK) : 116 123

Suicide Prevention (Canada): 1833-456-4566

Lifeline (Australia): 13 11 14

Suicide Prevention (USA): 1800 237 8255

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

https://hubofhope.co.uk/

I was asked how I deal with the mental side of having Ulcerative Colitis

I struggled a lot to begin with because I didn’t really know what this disease was and how best to deal the symptoms. I was on and off loads of different meds and nothing really worked, and I felt I was slowly getting worse (because I was). And I wouldn’t have survived through it if it hadn’t been for the amazing support my partner has given me. He was there with me when my symptoms became enough to go to the doctor, when I got my diagnosis, through my first A&E visit and subsequent hospital stay, he even did his own research about my condition and has always been there for me. Not once has he not been there. He is my rock. I think that, above all else, has helped me deal with this disease. I also have an amazing IBD team at the hospital who have taken amazing care of me the last three years too.

I did take a bit of a hit after my first surgery and I ended up going to see a psychiatrist. At first, she wasn’t convinced that I needed to be there but once I started opening up, she helped me get through my jumbled thoughts and feelings. I started keeping a diary of all the instanced where things had become too much and I had disassociated or had dark thoughts and I felt a small wave of relief when I started to put those thoughts down on paper. No one reads it, it will forever remain private, but I know it’s there. It’s my “lockbox” for all those negative feelings.

I think the best thing to do is talk to someone. I went to therapy because I knew a trained stranger would know what questions to ask and how best to probe the answers from me in order to help without doing more damage. That’s not for everyone though, so it’s important to find the right person to talk to.

We go through the stages of grief when we are chronically ill because we mourn the life we had before we were ill. It’s also important to let that run it’s course.

Thank you HaveYouHeardOfSarcasm on Tumblr for asking this.

Your mental illness is lying to you.

totheonedegree:

letmeprosper:

deadgoddesschronicles:

chi-dan:

jackslenderman:

icryformusic:

5sosphanandshortbread:

fun-n-fashion:

conductoroftardislight:

baileyarber:

the-malady-mill:

You are not stupid.

You are not ugly.

You are not worthless.

You are not weak.

You are not a burden.

Your mental illness is lying to you.

Fuck.

Also:

No you’re not bothering me. (Yes I’m serious.)

You’re not dumb.

You have great ideas.

Your smile isn’t ugly.

Neither is your laugh.

Yes people love you. No they’re not lying. Yes really.

YOU ARE NOT BOTHERING ME.

You don’t need to apologize, I actually AM very interested in our conversation.

YOU DON”T NEED TO APOLOGIZE FOR EXISTING.

in addition: yes i love you and your existence

Uhm… I really fucking needed to see this.

Yes, I am happy to hear from you.

You look nice today.

No, you aren’t being annoying.

Tell me more about the things you like, I’m interested in what you have to say.

If you changed your mind and can’t handle going out, we can hang out at home instead, I really don’t mind and I’m not mad at you.

Yes, I am really honestly happy that you’re here!

I think you’re pretty great actually.

Needed this and BOOSTING

needed this.

ALL OF THIS

Side note: if you tell me to stop apologizing, I will apologize for apologizing so much

Read this

You don’t need to apologise for existing!

I love you. No, really.

pb8:

it really bothers me that so many people on this site treat ableism like it’s black and white.

just now i saw a post where op was like “i’m glad that spinners are popular because it normalizes fidgets and decreases stigma” and someone replied like “no!! it’s absolutely TERRIBLE that neurotypicals are using these fidgets because when they get in trouble they make things harder for mentally ill kids!!” and like you guys do realize that? you’re both right? it isn’t a decisive fact that neurotypicals using fidgets is either good or bad, there are both benefits and consequences that need to be taken into consideration.

a few months ago there was a post going around that was like, *neurotypical voice* why are you bouncing your leg, and somebody reblogged it saying that the post was ableist because autistic kids can get overstimulated by leg bouncing. i go to a school for the mentally disabled, and i’ve been in this exact scenario, my classmate wasn’t able to focus because i was bouncing my leg and although i felt bad i told him that i wouldn’t be able to stop for long because i do it subconsciously due to my adhd. he wasn’t being ableist for asking me to stop, and i wasn’t being ableist for saying i couldn’t, we just both had different needs. in the end, our compromise was that i went to work in the computer lab.

you have to understand that there is always more than one side to issues like these, and that we should be striving for understanding and balance over demonization of one side and blind support of the other. this is especially relevant when people on both sides are mentally ill or disabled, because sometimes symptoms will clash and you just need to deal with it.

I’m probably what people would call “neurotypical”, meaning, I don’t have a diagnosis

nor do I exhibit symptoms of any mental illness (aside from de-realisation). However, I find my fidget cube very helpful when in stressful situations. For example, when I went down to the theatre for my surgery last month, I took my cube with me (even though I was told to leave everything in my room) and found that focusing on the spinner with my thumb was enough to keep me from thinking about what was going to happen. It also gave the nurses something to talk to me about whilst en route to the theatre instead of soul-crushing silence.