Feeling conflicted…

So, I asked my primary care doctor this morning what the actual plan was because it seems to me that my signs of improvement are purely because of the IVsteroids I’m currently on. I know from experience that every time I go onto them, I improve, taper the dose and finish the course, only to relapse and end up back in hospital a month or so later. He said this is possible and that they want to either continue me on the humira or switch me to vedolizumab. But before they can do any of that, they need to get me clear of the c. diff infection.

What I’m conflicted about is every trial I’ve gone on – infliximab, humira – hasn’t really worked and I’ve ended up relapsing. So, do I go with the trials or do I just request the surgical route? I’m really unsure and I’m frightened of what will happen in the next few months; I don’t want to end up in hospital yet again only for surgery to be my only option.