Sorry for the radio silence recently, I’ve just not had anything to report. I’m still waiting on a date for my take-down, and even though I’m meant to be seeing my GI Tuesday afternoon, because of work, I need to move the appointment. It kind of feels like they want to wait until after Christmas but I would prefer it to be over as soon as possible. I’m getting frustrated with it and my bag and stoma cause a bit of anxiety because I’m having to wait.
I’m back to full-time now at work which has been going fine. My new manager (who started about two weeks before I went off for surgery in June) seems to e getting the hang of how our team works and our two newest colleagues are doing well which has made the atmosphere a lot less stressful and bitchy. This has helped me get back into the swing of things but I think because I know I’m going to be off again soon, I don’t want to get too comfortable. Despite having worked there for over four years now, I still feel like I need to prove my abilities to everyone because I have had so much time off. And I still feel this sometimes even after my manager explained how much he valued me as a member of the team. I’m sure it’ll all settle down once I’ve had my take down and have returned to work again, I just can’t help but feel a little inferior sometimes.
I’ve been pretty busy recently; I started counselling last week to try and help with a few things I’ve been struggling with recently. My first session I didn’t think went so well because my therapist seemed a bit uncaring and disinterested because I scored low on the risk assessment. I thought I’d give it one more try before asking to change therapists and I’m glad I did; today’s session went much better because we went through some things (not everything) in depth and she seemed a lot more interested in what I had to say. She even gave some advice on something I’ve been struggling with for a while now but haven’t been able to talk about. I hope these sessions will be helpful in the long run but I guess it’s still early days.
In other news, I’m going to visit family up north this weekend which I’m hoping will help relieve some stress. It’s going to be cold but I’m prepared for that; I know the cold can make my stomach muscles hurt so I’ll be bringing a load of heat pads and my hot water bottle with me.
I hope everyone is having a safe Halloween.
I won’t go into detail about it but I decided to start counselling. I had my first initial appointment today and I should hear about further appointments with a councillor within the next week.
So, I called the hospital to find out if there was a specific time my humira is meant to be delivered today. They said I should have been contacted by the health care company that deals with the deliveries of medication like humira but when I said I haven’t received any paperwork or phone calls, they said they’d look into it for me. I’m a little concerned that someone’s messed up and I won’t get my injections today. This wouldn’t be a problem if I wasn’t going to be at work for the rest of the week. Now, I’m just waiting for a call from either the hospital or the delivery company. I’m trying to stay positive; I don’t need another anxiety attack.