pb8:

it really bothers me that so many people on this site treat ableism like it’s black and white.

just now i saw a post where op was like “i’m glad that spinners are popular because it normalizes fidgets and decreases stigma” and someone replied like “no!! it’s absolutely TERRIBLE that neurotypicals are using these fidgets because when they get in trouble they make things harder for mentally ill kids!!” and like you guys do realize that? you’re both right? it isn’t a decisive fact that neurotypicals using fidgets is either good or bad, there are both benefits and consequences that need to be taken into consideration.

a few months ago there was a post going around that was like, *neurotypical voice* why are you bouncing your leg, and somebody reblogged it saying that the post was ableist because autistic kids can get overstimulated by leg bouncing. i go to a school for the mentally disabled, and i’ve been in this exact scenario, my classmate wasn’t able to focus because i was bouncing my leg and although i felt bad i told him that i wouldn’t be able to stop for long because i do it subconsciously due to my adhd. he wasn’t being ableist for asking me to stop, and i wasn’t being ableist for saying i couldn’t, we just both had different needs. in the end, our compromise was that i went to work in the computer lab.

you have to understand that there is always more than one side to issues like these, and that we should be striving for understanding and balance over demonization of one side and blind support of the other. this is especially relevant when people on both sides are mentally ill or disabled, because sometimes symptoms will clash and you just need to deal with it.

I’m probably what people would call “neurotypical”, meaning, I don’t have a diagnosis

nor do I exhibit symptoms of any mental illness (aside from de-realisation). However, I find my fidget cube very helpful when in stressful situations. For example, when I went down to the theatre for my surgery last month, I took my cube with me (even though I was told to leave everything in my room) and found that focusing on the spinner with my thumb was enough to keep me from thinking about what was going to happen. It also gave the nurses something to talk to me about whilst en route to the theatre instead of soul-crushing silence.

Travelling with an ostomy

So, I recently had my first overnight trip since having a stoma and I thought I’d share a couple of things that I learnt on the way about travelling with an ostomy.

First things first; Packing. I’m always worried when I have to stay overnight somewhere in case I don’t pack enough of something or completely forget to pack the thing altogether, so I tend to make a list of things I’ll need. The list consisted of the usual “underwear, socks, toothbrush” ect. but this time, I had to consider how many times I’d need to change my bag whilst away from home. I change my bag every other day and, thankfully, it worked out that I’d only need to change my bag once while away. However, me being me, I didn’t just pack one bag. No, I packed three; one to change into and the other two were spares. I realise this was a little excessive but the last thing I wanted was for my current bag to leak or get damaged and be unable to do anything about it. So, my advise on this is always bring spares. Even if you’re only staying one night, bring spare bags and cleaning supplies. I’d say for a longer stay, pack twice the amount of supplies you expect to need. That way, if something goes wrong (you’re flights delayed, you missed the last train ect) and you have to stay longer, you know you won’t run out.

Second is emptying your bag before you set out. We travelled by train for this trip and the journey was around three to four hours each way with one change. Knowing that on-board toilets are usually small, cramped and, a lot of the time, unclean, I didn’t really want to have to empty my bag in one. So, I made a point of emptying my bag before we left to go the train station. Obviously, I couldn’t avoid emptying my bag at least once during this trip so I made sure to check we’d have enough time between trains for me to go the toilets at the station. Thankfully, we had about half an hour until our connecting train arrived. If you can, this is probably the best time to empty your bag because then you won’t have to worry about it during the next stretch of your journey.

Something to point out; some UK train station will charge you something like 20p to use the toilets but the disabled ones are accessible with a Radar Key. It is also worth noting that the disabled toilets may not be as clean as you’d expect. I found this out the hard way; someone had had an accident and no one had got around to cleaning it up yet. So, the moral of this story is if you can use a normal cubicle to empty your bag, it’s probably worth the 20p to not risk getting someone elses accident on your shoes. 

Thirdly, take an emergency kit with you wherever you go. I have found I feel a lot more confident when I go out because I know I’ve got my emergency kit with me. It’s not a big kit, consisting of a bag, cleaning supplies and a compact mirror. All of this goes neatly into a make-up bag that, in turn, fits nicely into my handbag. It’s discreet and gives you peace of mind, if nothing else. I’ll be sure to make another post about exactly what I’ve got in mine.

Lastly, travelling abroad. I have yet to travel abroad with my ostomy so I can’t really give advise on this one. However, there are loads of articles and tips available online. If in doubt, ask your Stoma nurse or GP before booking anything. Happy travelling!

tips for treating yoself

wingscomeback:

body:

  • Exfoliate once or twice a week.
  • Let your vagina breathe – don’t wear underwear to bed unless you’re on your period.
  • Change your pad/tampon/etc at least twice a day.
  • Don’t wash up inside your vagina (aka douching) it will tip the pH balance in your vagina and you will end up with an infection, you can wash around your thighs/pubic area but that’s it, same applies with perfumes and other body cosmetics.
  • Use coconut oil its good for so many things!!
  • Use body butters after getting out of the shower.
  • Use tea-tree oil for pimples.
  • Use sunscreen!!!
  • For people with oily skin – use blotting paper around your eyes and in your T – zone.
  • Don’t squeeze/pick at pimples – the bacteria on your hands will only make them worse and will create more redness.
  • Always use moisturiser before applying makeup
  • When washing your vagina, lift up the clitoral hood and softly rub your finger along the hood to wipe away dead skin cells. If you end up masturbating, fuck it.

Hair:

  • Wash your hair every 2-3 days. Don’t wash every day because it will make your head dry, try dry shampoos instead.
  • Use conditioning treatments weekly in the summer to prevent your hair from losing it’s colour.
  • Brush your curls with your fingers to create a more tousled look.
  • Before blow drying your hair use volumizing spray or gel on your roots for more definition in your hair.
  • Use shampoos that are sulfate free as sulfates dry and damage your hair quicker.
  • If your hair is greasy avoid conditioning the roots, just the ends.
  • Trim your hair every 6-8 weeks so you have healthy hair and no damaged ends.
  • Use avacado oil on your hair in the winter to stop your hair from drying out.
  • Dry shampoo is also very good for volumizing your hair.
  • The best way to get rid of ingrown hair is to exfoliate.
  • Avoid dry shaving your pubes, this will cause redness and spots which are easily treated with hydrocortisone cream or aloe vera.
  • If you are to shave, use conditioner instead of shaving cream – you will get a smoother result – that goes for anywhere you shave.
  • If you have a big ole mess in your pants try trimming your bush before you shave/wax it.
  • Waxing HURTS so if you’re dealing with the burns then place a cold towel in the sore area and leave it for about 15 minutes and then apply aloe.
  • If you experience chest/breast hair the best thing to do is pluck the hairs, it’s painful but rewarding.

Makeup:

  • Clean your makeup brushes, regularly along with any other makeup appliances (beauty blenders, makeup pads) in a mix of warm water and a little bit of soap.
  • Use a blotting tissue and then add a small amout of cream concealer onto your eye makeup to prevent smudging.
  • Matte lipstick goes best with a shimmer eye makeup.
  • Wearing white eyeliner counteracts the redness in your eyes.
  • To make your cheekbones appear higher, use bronzer under the cheekbone and highlighter on the actual cheekbone.
  • In summer if you want to avoid caking yourself with foundation – use tinted moisturiser or BB cream instead.
  • Always wash your makeup off before going to bed, don’t leave it on.
  • Always make sure you blend your foundation so your neck isn’t a different colour to your face.
  • Clean your makeup bag out every once in a while and get rid of any products you don’t use – its cleaner, tidier and more hygienic. 
  • Always make sure you have tape and q-tips handy. Tape is great for a perfect winged eyeliner and q-tips are great for cleaning and tidying up those hard to reach areas.
  • Concealer works great for a base for your eye makeup as the makeup will stick to it. 
  • Using highlighter and illuminators on your cheekbones, browbone and cupid’s bow for a “dewy look”.
  • When using cream products like eyeshadow or blush – use translucent powder to set it in place.
  • Kat Von-D lipstick is blow job proof 🙂
  • Replace mascara and eyeliners every 3 months or so.
  • Don’t share makeup/appliances for your eyes, it may cause infections like conjunctivitis and maybe a sty.
  • Blot your lips after applying lipstick to avoid getting lipstick teeth. 

General:

  • Change your bra every 5-11 days.
  • Always make sure your feet are dry before putting on socks and shoes to prevent fungal infections.
  • Wash blood stained clothes in cold water with 2 tablespoons of salt.
  • Try your own homemade beauty recipes.
  • If you peel/lick your lips it will damage them, don’t do that.
  • Applying eye cream on the cuticles of your nails will make them stronger and healthier.
  • Always carry tampons/pads even when you’re not on your period, someone else might need them.
  • Clean out your purse!! Get rid of all that junk and you will thank yourself next time you’re looking for something.
  • Masturbate. Whenever you can, it’s rewarding and good for you. (yes girls masturbate too).
  • Always pee after sex/masturbation to help avoid getting a UTI.
  • Bio-oil is good for stretch marks (as well as loving them).
  • Save some nice underwear for yourself and just wear your dead old pants when you’re on your period.
  • Buy yourself some nice underwear/lingerie whenever you can. Make sure it’s 100% cotton though otherwise you can get a yeast infection.
  • Test yourself every once in a while for STDs. It’s necessary.
  • Carry a condom on you, it’s not just the guy’s responsibility.
  • Apply a damp tissue to blotchy, red skin after crying, it will make you look as if you haven’t been crying at all.
  • Don’t let boys ruin your day.
  • Use a paperclip to clip the back of your bra straps together to create a racerback bra.
  • Wrap a maxi pad or pantyliner around any poking underwires in your bra.
  • Wash your pillow case every 1-2 weeks to help prevent acne. 
  • Cucumbers are good for dark circles and puffy eyes just place a slice over your eyes and leave for about 15 minutes.

treat and love yourself and your body will reward you!!! 

Not specifically IBD-related but there are some good tips for self-care here for both spoonies and non-spoonies.

On the train home after having such a great time yesterday; the wedding ceremony was beautiful and the venue for the breakfast/reception was gorgeous. I surprised myself with not needed my stick at all. I didn’t really want to use it so I left it in the hotel room (thinking I’d regret it) but actually, I was fine without it. It’s not like we did a lot of walking but there was plenty of standing which usually would cause my stomach muscles to ache after a while. Not yesterday though; I was able to stand and be sociable without needing to lean on anything/anyone. By the end of the day, I was tired but not achy or stiff as I usually am after a long day. I’m quite proud of myself.